Stupid Quotes
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Just some stupid quotes I like.
"To save us both time, lets assume I know everything"
"Dont piss me off, i'm running out of places to hide the bodies"
"If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then give up. There's no use being a damn fool about it."
"Ah..... I see the screw-up fairy has paid you a visit"
"I'm not opinionated, I'm just always right"
"Sorry, I guess the angel from my shoulder went on a break and never came back"
"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"
"One by one, the yard gnomes steal my sanity"
"Do whatever my rice crispies tell me to do"
"Therapy has taught me that nothing is my fault"
"Damn right i've been naughty, now spank my evil butt!"
"YOU! Off my planet"
"Organized people are just too lazy to look for things"
"I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them. "
"I hate everybody, and you're next."
"Please don't make me kill you."
"Being prejudice is wrong...you should hate everyone equally"
"And your point is... "
"I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now."
"I'm multitalented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time. "
"All stressed out and no one to choke. "
"I"m one of those bad things that happen to good people"
"Nobody knows I'm not wearing underwear. "
"When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout"
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. "
"Only the paranoid survive.... "
"Your village called; their idiot is missing."
"Eat right. Exercise. Die anyway. "
"Don't annoy the crazy person. "
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm."
"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. "
"Scientists say 1 out of 4 people are crazy. check 3 of your friends, if they're ok, you're it"
"Every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. (Homer Simpson)"
"It may be that your sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others."
"I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. "
"Cover me, I'm changing lanes."
"DO NOT WASH--This vehicle is undergoing a scientific dirt test."
"God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier."
"Keep honking while I reload."
"Don't drink and park, accidents cause people"
"If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you."
"My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot"
"A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries"
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps"
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it"
"It's as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you"
"Don't steal, The government hates competition"
"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't"
"I brake for no apparent reason."
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control."
" Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot. "
"Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. Dorothy."
"All men are idiots, and I married their King. "
"Rehab is for quitters. "
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative. "
"Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill."
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory. "
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. "
"We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Men are proof that women can take a joke. "
"Time is what keeps things from happening all at once."
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Jesus is coming, everyone look busy."
"There's too much blood in my alcohol system. "
"I used to have a handle on life, but it broke."
"Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive."
"Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. "
"I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing."
"Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit. "
"I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles. "
"Out of my mind...Back in five minutes."
"A synonym is a word you use if you can't spell the other one."
"A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn."
"I'm not paranoid! Which of my enemies told you this?"
"Proofread carefully to see if you any words out."
"Hard work never hurt anyone, but why take the chance."
***
Viola. I'm hungry, and tired. So, I'm gonna go bum it.
Cheerio
Insomniac
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