Confusion 

Confusion

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Confusion: the inability to think with clarity or act with intelligence or understanding; throw off.

..not knowing what the future holds...will I regret...or will I rejoice? What is the best for ME? What do I deserve? I'm so damn empathetic and caring...that I forget about my own needs. I look out for them...worry about upsetting them...I need someone to take care of me for once...show me the love I show them...I'm stubborn...I refuse to give up on a person...especially when they mean the world to me..

Empathy: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner

...turn my cheek...ignoring the pain...making excuses...everything I do isn't good enough...they don't understand how low they make me feel...how deep their words cut. The invisible wounds I hide...so that I don't upset them...flinching...fearing...holding my breath...hiding my problems so I'm not a burden. Trained to fear...Listening...holding them...wishing their pain away...yet...it doesn't matter....because I feel worthless in their eyes. Can't they see how much I hurt...for them? Wishing they could understand how much I would give up just so that they could feel an ounce of happiness...I would do anything just to see them smile. Hoping they'll one day realize how many times I'd die to spare them...wanting to relieve their pain...

Knowing they'll never find another who loves them with the passion that I do...knowing that they'll never find another who refuses to give up on them...

Wishing they could try to love me...try to understand me...stop hurting me...stop playing these games...do you want me or not? I don't mean to make you that miserable...I don't mean to make you hate me...I don't mean to be such a horrible person...I don't mean to cry...

Compassion: Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
I'm human...there's only so much I can take...only so much I can give...

...Wishing that for once...they could give you the affection you give them. Wishing they could show compassion...take a look through your eyes. Hiding the bruises on your ego...watching as your poetry gets darker and darker...dying slowly more as each day passes...seemingly unhappy being with them...but knowing the tears won't stop once they're gone...knowing you will never forget the love you feel...or the way they look into your eyes. Wishing they could just try...wanting to show them just how beautiful life can be...that it is possible to be happy...truly happy...wanting a love with no mistakes...no regrets...no fear...

Hurt: To cause mental or emotional suffering to; distress.

...I deserve to be treated with affection...respect...I deserve to be loved...

Insomniac

I can not take this anymore
saying everything you said before...
all these words they make no sense...
I found this in ignorance...
the less I hear the less you say
you'll find that out anyway
(just like before)

everything you say to me..
brings me one step closer to the edge and I'm about to break
I need a little room to breath...
'cause I'm one step closer to the edge...and I'm about to break.

I gotta find the answers that are so clear
wish I could find a way to disappear...
all these thoughts they make no sense
I found this in ignorace
nothing seems to go away...
over and over again...
(just like before...)

everything you say to me..
brings me one step closer to the edge and i'm about to break
I need a little room to breath...
'cause I'm one step closer to the edge...and I'm about to break